This post was originally seen on the Lamian Audio project page.
Lamian Audio is Dead. 2024-05-31
- Type: media, audio
Lamian Audio was pretty fun for the most part. It came from a prior appreciation for the medium: how do you effecitvely tell a story with just audio?
I have been told I had a nice voice for a while, and while I don't really believe that to be a pre-requisite, it was certainly an asset. I'm glad people like my voice.
Friends to lovers was by far my favourite audio to do, and it's evident by just how much I posted them. It's sweet, it's emotional, and it's "real."
But I never really went beyond that. Sure, a few "enemies" to lovers were there, but my audios were extremely derivative. People stayed for it, clearly. My audience affectionately called me the "king of friends to lovers."
As time went on, the audio roleplay space grew. Growth is good, and it's nice to have more people appreciate this medium, but I grew increasingly tired and unhappy with this project— and with the space in general.
I got lucky with my audience. They were quite dedicated to most anything I posted. After a while, I started posting miscellaneous content, like music, "actual" videos, etc. It was surprisingly well-received.
But I was increasingly worried with the state of not only my audience, but casual listeners. "Boyfriend ASMR" is inherently "intimate." Generally, you don't listen just for funsies. Some might have, but others listened with a specific purpose: comfort. I was one of them.
For about a year prior to this project, I heavily leaned on these audios to actually sleep in any capacity. I had gone through some things in my personal life that affected me deeply. I needed something, anything. I grew dependent on them. It was a bad time.
And I know I'm not alone in this. When listening to these audios in a vulnerable, emotional state, you grow attached not to a person but to an avatar, a simulation. You grow accustomed to the comfort it gives you. You connect with a perfect image, because it would never hurt you.
This was my biggest concern: I was there, so how many of those listening to me would be same?
I intentionally kept a distance from my audience. (Which should be done anyway.) I gave constant reminders to keep me accountable. Lamian Audio is not real, and it will never be real. You have to keep this mind. You must.
Do I claim to be better than other creators in the space? ...well, kind of.
Because of the pseudonymous nature of this space, you'll likely never see the face of an audio creator. It's an immersion thing, I get it.
But it's so, so easy to look beyond the flaws of the person behind the channels— because there is no person behind it. It's abstracted by character art, comments, and whatever projected demeanour they market themselves as.
It's a recipe for vulnerable minds to be taken advantage of and abused. There's a Google Doc floating around with many allegations of creators who would solicit sexually explicit and other abusive material from fans, including minors.
These sick fucks are effectively given a pass, because they'll disappear and pop back up once, or if they're caught. It's so easy.
So much of this audio content online evolved to just blatant sex bait. A provocative, borderline pornographic catalogue.
I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, I'm really not. It's just super questionable to have this type of content on YouTube, a platform available to all ages.
"Think of the children," a claim I despise as much as you do. But it's justified here: colourful anime characters, and slick graphics will catch eyes. It's a problem when those lead to unhealthy expectations of sex.
The state of r/GWA is quite controversial to someone not accustomed to this space. And it's O.K. to listen to that, it's fine. But it does no favours to a middle schooler with unsupervised internet access.
They'll ignore the 18+ warning. Porn is mainstream. With this BookTok "smut" phenomenon and the already widely available "tube" sites, it's everywhere.
Is that bad? I don't know. I'm not trying to demonize porn as some "evil force." It's not really good or bad, it just is.
I fear that I've done irreperable damage to some of my more impressionable audience. I know there are very young viewers in my audience. I know that some have gotten unhealthily attached. It might be inherent to this medium, it might not. But it's an irrefutable fact that goes unsaid.
How many of them prefer to listen to a simulacra of a relationship? How many will grow forever attached, terminally online, unwilling to step into the real world?
Roleplay audios have recently seeped into the "internet" mainstream. The memey "boyfriend hits you with a pan" audios are making the rounds. It's pretty funny. But it will only grow from here.
Media literacy is on fritz. All I can do is turn off my faucet.
I posted an audio recently. It serves as a meta-overview of my situation. Things were nice once, but we can't go back to that. Whether you knew or not, I hurt you. We reflect and move on. We need to. It was a different time, and we'll never go back to that.
But we can stay "friends." I'm more than Lamian Audio now. Lamian Audio is dead. I'm doing cool things, and so should you.
I just hope you'll watch and grow, as will I.
Thanks.